Dear Readers,
I find myself looking for work! Care to exchange some of my dedicated time and life energy for some money? Have any job leads?
Look, I feel pretty ambivalent about even writing this out and sending into the inbox of mostly people that I know and a few that I don’t. I have a hard time asking for help or feeling like I’m imposing—pressing into the inappropriate, often by just making my real feelings or real circumstances known, often even to people who I know give a shit about me and my wellbeing.
What I’m trying to say here is: hire me, I’m an imperfect human. I promise I’m working on it.
What I’m trying to say here is: I need help.
A few years ago, I made a commitment to myself to be playful about everything that I do. Sometimes this looks like playing opposite-day when things get emotionally difficult. When ingrained patterns tell me to run, I take a breath and try my best to choose to stay, to wait-and-see. When I feel terrified of dating men, I take a risk and start dating men. When the scripts tell me I should do or think or feel one thing, I tend to immediately imagine what it might be like to do the complete opposite. When I’m scared of something, generally I try and do it anyway. It’s pretty fun, if fun is even the appropriate word for leaning into the sheer terror of uncertainty and crossing one’s fingers that it works out.
Right now, this looks like engaging with the edges of comfort.
I am terrified that everyone reading this will judge me for being lazy, for being ‘bad with money’, for a myriad of things that are imposed on the ranks of the under and unemployed, and most especially, for playing out the tropes oft associated with artists and creative folks. The truth is that as hard as it is to hit send on this, I’m going to do it anyway. It’s part of honouring the commitment. It’s part of the pact I have to keep being my real self, whenever I can.
I will clean your house, do your errands, cook you food, do your chores, help you write, help you edit, and help you in any way that I can. I am trying to get myself out of the hole here. Have shovel, will dig. I’m open to it all, so give me a shout if things feel overwhelming and you need to pass a spinning plate to someone else. I know we’re all trying to keep them spinning as best we can.
Beyond sending gigs my way, I would love love love it if you responded to this email or sent me a message over at ada.dragomir.can.be.reached@gmail.com with any leads you have on full-time work with a living wage ($20-$24 CAD at last count) in the Vancouver, BC area. I make a great receptionist or admin assistant, I’ve written grants before, I’ve cleaned homes, I’ve worked in art-related non-profits, I’ve worked in the school districts here as a special education assistant, I’ve taught art classes, and I’ve driven delivery trucks and vans for a company that landscapes fake plants (yep, weird, I know). I’m happy to jump into anything that can offer a little bit of dignity and stability right now.
Have shovel, will dig self out. Literally and metaphorically.
Ok, well, now I feel truly terrified to hit send. I guess I did it anyway.